The New Bean Brigade: Jurassic Bore
by Owennumber1fan
Summary: The villains head out after the kids of Poke...er, Dinosaur King, in order to use thier dinosaurs for thier own nefarious ends.
1. Shrink a dink

Disclaimer: All characters (except Dr. Psychosis) are copyright their respective owners. All anime is copyright the country of Japan, or whatever American company buys it.

Just in case you were wondering, these stories are intended to be sillier and campier then my usual ones. So if the writing and jokes seem stupid, it's because I'm intentionally making it that way.

The New Bean Brigade #3

"Jurassic Bore"

At the secret headquarters of the evil league known as the Bean Brigade, Hannibal was reading the paper. Just then, Control Freak entered the conference room.

"I didn't know we get paper delivery here" he said.

"We don't, but I have my ways of obtaining newspapers" Hannibal replied "and I've found something in the paper that is of interest ta me."

"Grocery coupons?"

"I don't even know how that would…no" Hannibal replied "come here."

CF approached him and read over his shoulder "'dinosaur terrorizes subway station.' Seems like something out of the tabloids to me."

"That's what I thought at first, but then I learned about another dinosaur attack on the news. So I checked on the Internet and learned that there have been a collection of dinosaur attacks across the world over the last few months."

"Interesting"

"Isn't it though?" Hannibal replied "then I noticed a pattern. Every time the dinosaurs attack, this group of kids always shows up."

He handed CF a picture of three oddly-dressed kids.

"Where'd you get this?"

"I was looking for various creatures we could control on the internet, and I came across some news about dinosaurs being sighted in locations around the world" Hannibal explained. "I checked on the sightings, and learned that these three kids were seen at nearly all of them, with witnesses saying they were also using dinosaurs."

"Wow, that's a lot of exposition."

"Indeed it is, now pay attention boy" Hannibal replied "I'm sure these kids are connected ta the dinos somehow. If I can find out how, I can control these dinos and use 'em ta help me conquer this here planet. Head ta Japan and find these kids, and use whatever methods you need ta in order ta make these kids tell you their secret."

"Can I assemble some of the team first?" CF asked.

"I would expect that" Hannibal said "and pick up Tolinator while yer out, he's at his group therapy."

"He attends therapy?" CF asked, "actually, that's not so unbelievable."

"Yup, some kinda therapy for lame villains" Hannibal replied "maybe I oughta see about getting that punk Spicer ta attend. Are you still here? Get going!"

"Yes sir!" CF said, as he left the room.

A few minutes later, he came back and grabbed a Pop Tart from a box that sat on the meeting table "I haven't had breakfast this morning" he explained, before he left again.

* * *

Elsewhere, across town in room 5C of the New Bradford Municipal building, a therapy session was taking place.

"Okay, let's go around the room and talk about what evil plans we've done for the week" said Dr. Psychosis. He was a middle aged man in a lab coat, with brown hair and glasses "Charles, would you like to start?"

"Yeah okay" Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy replied "so earlier this week, I created this giant mustard cannon, and was gonna use it to cover the city in mustard if they didn't pay me a million dollars. But then WordGirl showed up and stopped me, and defined the word 'extortion' too."

"That was very good Charles, you've improved on your schemes" Dr. Psychosis said "does anyone have any suggestions as to what he could've done different?"

"Yes, how much did this mustard cannon cost?" Frugal Lucre asked "because I find high cost items are not always the best."

"Personally, I find the whole concept of a mustard cannon disgusting" replied Fastidious J. Spiffington, a cultured hamster "you should try something much cleaner."

"Those are all fine comments, but none of them will help Charles improve his plans for next time" Dr. Psychosis explained "still, it's good to see him really stepping up to the plate towards becoming a respected villain."

"Um, doctor, I have a story about my most recent scheme" Tolinator said.

"All right then, please tell us what you've been up to" the doc replied.

"You guys are going to love this" Tolinator answered, beaming proudly "yesterday I clogged all the toilets in the KND treehouse. Now they'll have to use public restrooms!"

"What's to stop them from just unclogging the toilets" Lucre asked.

"Indeed, your stupidity never ceases to amaze me" Fastidious replied.

"Remember, that kind of negative talk is not allowed" Dr. Psychosis began "that was good Tolinator, but maybe next time you could try something more devious."

"I'll remember that" Tolinator replied.

Before anyone else had a chance to respond, the door opened and Control Freak & Beekeeper entered.

"We've got a mission Tolinator, say goodbye to your loser club and let's go" CF said.

"Excuse me, but you can't just barge in here, we're in the middle of a session" Dr. Psychosis replied "and we don't use the term 'losers' here."

"Well I do" CF replied "and I need toilet boy for an important criminal mission."

"Are these the famous teammates you've talked about?" Chuck asked, "pretty swanky."

"Thanks a bunch" Tolinator replied "anyway doc, I hate to cut the session short, but I gotta motor."

"Very well then, but remember, think 'big time'" Dr. Psychosis told him "the only thing stopping you from becoming a successful villain is negative thinking."

"Is that guy for real?" CF asked, as they left the building.

"He sure is" Tolinator explained "Dr. P helps us villains who feel foolish and stupid try to achieve our true potential. He thinks I have the chance to become a major threat to the KND, if I really apply myself."

"Well right now, we need you to apply yourself to our latest caper" Beekeeper said "so it's off to Japan."

"Home of anime and the _Super Mario _series?" Tolinator asked.

"The same" Beekeeper replied.

* * *

Control Freak: Tolinator's comments got me thinking. It's true that so many video games are developed in Japan.

Motor Ed: So?

CF: So, video games should be our thing! I mean, name one video game in the last few years that was developed here and not in Japan.

Motor Ed: I can't, 'cause I'm not a nerd bomb who plays video games all the time like you do, seriously.

CF: It's just funny that all these video game heroes we love, Mario, Sonic, Snake, Link, are actually all Japanese. Really makes you think.

Motor Ed: No, not really.

CF: Anyway, in the next chapter, we meet up with the kids at a video arcade, and execute our plot to learn their secret. Let's just say it involves a lady.

Motor Ed: Plus, Tolinator tries to remember where he's seen all of these situations before.

CF: So read and review, which was also created by the Japanese, as was fanfiction, I think.


	2. Friend or Fiend?

After a several hour flight, the group consisting of Control Freak, Beekeeper, Tolinator, Box Ghost, & Black Cuervo, had arrived in Japan.

"Okay, anyone have any clue where we can find these three kids?" CF asked.

"To find kids, you need to think like a kid" Beekeeper said, putting his fingers to his temples. "Ooh, I'm a kid" he said in a falsetto voice "mommy, buy me this toy! I wanna eat candy for dinner! Why do I have to go to sleep at nine o' clock?"

Black Cuervo sighed "I cannot believe I ever allied myself with you morons" she said.

"Guys, that arcade has one of those dancing simulator games!" Tolinator said happily "can we go in, please?"

"I guess" CF said "kids are likely to go to an arcade anyway."

"You hear that To…" Beekeeper said, but found that the larcenous loo was long gone.

* * *

Meanwhile, the very trio of kids that the villains were looking for just happened to be heading down the street at that moment.

One was a brown haired kid wearing a red jacket with a yellow hood, and a visor with a clear brim and two horns emerging from it, yellow pants, brown fingerless gloves with grey trim, red & white tennis shoes and a black fanny pack. This was Max Taylor, leader of the so-called "D Team" and son of noted paleontologist Dr. Spike Taylor.

The other boy had blond hair and wore a blue jacket with a light blue chest and waist, white pants and tennis shoes, and had a large dino-tooth necklace. It was Rex Owen, Max's friend and son of Spike's colleague, Dr. Owen.

The third was a young girl with two long, pink ponytails wearing a yellow vest & shorts (both fringed in pink), a black t-shirt and long socks, green wristbands, tennis shoes and a neckerchief, a brown belt (with little pouches), had grey goggles atop her head and a tiny dino-tooth necklace. This was Zoe Drake, who's older sister, Reese, worked with Doctor Taylor at his D-Lab.

And now that you've met the other players, let's continue the story.

"Uh Max, are you sure it's a good idea to have Chomp out here without a leash?" Zoe asked, referring to his little triceratops. The three kids each had a dinosaur walking next to them; Max a triceratops, Rex a carnatorus and Zoe a parasaurolophus. The kids claimed they were dogs (which everyone seemed to believe), hence the leash.

"Sure, it's not like he's going to bite anyone" Max explained.

"Excuse me, but his name is Chomp, biting things is all he does" Zoe countered.

"Chomp hasn't bitten anyone in a long time" Max countered "well, except the mailman, but he didn't know any better."

"Come on guys, don't argue" Rex said "the whole reason we're out here is to have some fun."

"You're right" Max said "for once it's nice to relax and not have to track down a dinosaur."

"I heard they installed a new dancing game in the arcade" Zoe said "I'm hoping I can beat the high score!"

"Dancing games are stupid" Max replied "I like games where you have to blast aliens and stuff."

"Hmph, you just don't like the game 'cause you know you'd lose" Zoe said.

"That's not true!" Max replied.

"Yes it is" Zoe said "I've been taking dance lessons for a long time now, and I bet I could beat you on the game."

"You're on!" Max yelled, as he and Zoe headed towards the arcade.

"Those two never learn, do they Ace?" Rex asked his pet carnataurus, who growled back a reply.

* * *

Soon, the two competitive kids made their way to the arcade and onto the dance machine.

"You're going down!" Max said.

"You wish!"

"Aww man, some lousy kids are using the dance machine" Tolinator whined "I was going to use that."

"I'm not sure, but I think those might be two of the kids we're looking for" CF replied.

"Those are not the kids you're looking for" Tolinator replied in an Obi-Wan-style voice, as he waved his hand in front of Control Freak's face.

The portly villain ignored him and pulled a picture of the D-Team from his coat. He looked at it, then up at Max & Zoe.

"No question, those are two of the kids we're here to nab" he said.

"How do we grab them in an arcade, with all these people around?" Beekeeper wondered.

"Looks like I'm winning Max."

"The heck you are!"

"I have an idea" Black Cuervo replied "one that will force the kids to bring the dinosaurs to us."

"Excuse me, but I'm in charge of this assignment" CF replied "what makes you qualified to have an idea?"

"Because unlike you, I am familiar with how the female mind works" Black Cuervo replied.

"I believe you have been, as you humans call it, burned" the Box Ghost replied.

"And what is your so-called 'idea'?" CF asked angrily.

"You will see" Black Cuervo replied "and I think you will be quite impressed."

"I know it's not just me, but this whole mission reminds me of a TV show, but I can't put my finger on which one it is" Tolinator replied.

He pulled out a notepad and wrote down**:**

**1**. **kids travel the world and collect odd creatures.**

"First things first" Black Cuervo said, "I'll need someplace to change."

"Try the front of the arcade" Tolinator suggested.

"I said 'to change' not 'get change' paper for brains!" she yelled "and once I do change, I can put my plan into effect."

* * *

"Well Max, I'll give you credit, you put up a good fight" Zoe said "but in the end there was only one true winner, and that was me."

"Okay, so you beat me on a dance game, big deal" Max said "you don't have to rub it in."

"Excuse me" a voice called to them. Both kids looked and noticed a Goth girl standing there.

"Oh hi" Zoe said, "um, did you want something?"

"Yes, I'm new here and I don't really know anyone" the girl explained "I was wondering if I could play with you."

"Sure, I guess" Max said "what's your name?"

"Zoe Aves."

"Your name is Zoe?" Zoe asked, "so is mine!"

"Wow, that's a coincidence" Black Cuervo replied.

"I know, what are the odds?" Zoe said "oh it'll be so fun to have a girl to hang out with. Not that Max & Rex aren't great friends, but you know, there are times when a girl wants to hang with her fellow girls, ya know?"

"I thought you had other female friends" Max said.

"I do, just not any from out of town who happen to share my name" Zoe explained.

"Oh."

"Come on, let's introduce you to Rex" Zoe told BC, "I think you'll like him."

"Where is Rex?" Max asked, looking around the arcade.

At that moment, their blonde haired friend was playing the local claw machine.

"Man, I don't know why I bother, these stupid things never work" he said "or you end up getting a really lame prize."

"Hey Rex" Zoe greeted him, "having any luck?"

"No, I think this darn thing is rigged" Rex replied, turning to face his pals "so, who's your new friend?"

"This is Zoe, and she's from out of town" Zoe replied "isn't it amazing that we have the same name."

"Yeah, it's downright fascinating" Rex replied, "but how are we going to address the two of you?"

"If you want, I could be called 'Z' or something of that nature" BC replied.

"'Z', that has a nice ring to it" Zoe said "maybe I should take it and you can go by Zoe."

"Whatever you want" BC replied.

"Okay, from now on, when both of us are together, I want to be called Z" Zoe explained.

"'From now on?'" Max questioned "just how long are you planning on doing this."

"For as long as the other Zoe is in town" Zoe replied.

"I don't know about this" Max said "you've only known this girl a few minutes, and you've known Rex and me practically your whole life. Now it seems like you're favoring her over us."

"That's silly" Zoe said "I would never do that. You're just upset because I found a new female friend that just happens to share my name!"

"It's just a little weird is all" Max replied.

"No, what's weird is you, Max Taylor!" Zoe shouted "if you can't be cool with this, then maybe I'll go hang out with my new friend for a while!"

"Come on Zoe" Rex said, but the pink haired girl already stormed out in a huff, her new friend following behind.

"Shouldn't we go after her?" he asked Max.

"You know how girls are" Max replied "she'll calm down after a while."

"I guess" Rex replied "in the meantime, maybe you should stop Chomp from biting the claw machine."

"Ahh, no Chomp, that's not food!" Max yelled, trying to extract the tiny triceratops from the metal leg it was currently clamped onto.

* * *

Control Freak: Okay, due to my "suggestion" in the last chapter regarding video games, we got into a little trouble with the Japanese.

Motor Ed: So they agreed to totally let us off the hook if we gave you people some facts about dinosaurs, seriously.

CF: So let's see. The word "dinosaur" is Latin for "thunder lizard", I think.

Ed: Hey, remember that old cartoon show, _the Terrible Thunderlizards? _

CF: Oh yeah, they were commando-like dinosaurs that hunted down humans, and the one was always like "I think that would fit nicely in the bad things category."

Ed: Was that on with _Eek the Cat? _

CF: I think so. Well, I guess that should satisfy our dinosaur education part of the story. In our next chapter, we make our move and grab the whiny pink-haired girl.

Ed: And my pal here sends a less than stellar ransom tape, seriously.

CF: So until next time, remember that a good review would fit nicely into the review category.


	3. The Ransom of Light Redhaired Chief

Meanwhile, Zoe, followed by Paris, and Black Cuervo headed outside the arcade and towards Zoe's house.

"That stupid Max, what's his problem?" Zoe asked aloud.

"You know how boys can be, sometimes they're muy loco" BC replied "but you don't need them, you got me now."

"Yeah, but still, they are my friends" Zoe said "maybe I should go apologize to them."

"Okay, but first, come with me down that dark alley over there" BC said.

"Why?"

"I'm your friend, would I steer you wrong?" BC asked.

"Actually, I just met you a few minutes ago, so I don't know you that well" Zoe explained "and my parents always told me to never go down dark alleys."

"Okay, but I was going to give you my iPod" BC explained.

"Oh, well that's different" Zoe said "and it's not like there's a group of creepy villains waiting in there to grab me."

"Right, so let's go" BC added.

Zoe followed her friend into the alley. "I don't see why we have to do this here, it's really dark and I can hardly see" she said.

"Don't worry about it, here, let me turn on my flashlight" BC said.

The instant her flashlight went on, Zoe was grabbed from behind by CF.

"Hey, what's going on here?!" she shouted.

"Sorry little girl, but this whole thing was a scheme to capture you so we can use you to force your friends to hand over the dinosaurs to us" BC explained.

"I can't believe I trusted you!" Zoe said "and to think, I was going to give you a makeover. Run Paris, get help!"

The little parasaurolophus, ran as fast as its' little legs would carry it back to the arcade.

"Should we go after the dino?" Tolinator asked.

"No, that little thing is doing exactly what we want" Beekeeper explained "its' presence will inform the others that something has happened to their fashion challenged friend."

"Fashion challenged?! Have you seen what you're wearing?" Zoe asked angrily.

"Oh yeah, and black and yellow, that's a good combination" he replied.

"That's the same colors you have" Zoe told him.

"I am humbled."

* * *

Paris soon made her back to the arcade, where Max had managed to extract Chomp from the claw machine base.

"Bad Chomp, no eating the arcade machines" he said "if you want, I'll win you one of the toys and you can chew on that."

Paris then came in and began to tug on Rex's pants. "Hey Paris, what's the problem?" he asked.

"Is Zoe stuck in a well?" Max wondered.

Paris began to squeak and continued to pull at Rex's pants.

"Maybe she really wants your pants" Max suggested.

"No, I think she's trying to tell us that something happened to Zoe" Rex replied.

"That was my next guess."

"Is Zoe in trouble, Paris?" Rex asked, with the little dino nodding her head in agreement.

"Come on, take us to her" Rex said.

Paris soon led the kids to the alley where she had last seen Zoe, but by now the villains and the girl were gone.

"Nothing, whoever grabbed Zoe must've split" Rex said.

"So now what? Should we contact the police?" Max asked.

"Yeah, but let's talk to your dad first" Rex replied "maybe we can track Zoe by her Dino Holder."

"Oh yeah, why didn't I think of that?" Max wondered.

"I can think of a few reasons" Rex replied.

* * *

After several minutes, the kids reported to the D-Lab, where Max's father, Dr. Spike Taylor worked. The doc was unconventional to say the least, wearing a yellow t-shirt, dark brown vest, red & white sneakers, brown fingerless gloves and fedora, and blue jeans.

"And you say that Zoe went off with this new girl, and the next thing you knew she was gone?" Dr. Taylor asked.

"Pretty much" Max replied.

"See kids, this is why you should never talk to strangers" Dr. Taylor said "my father always used to tell me 'son, strangers are like tyrannosaurus; they may seem interesting, but they can be very dangerous.' Ah, I miss my poor old dad."

"Um, dad, can we focus here please?" Max asked.

"Right, sorry, my bad" Dr. Taylor replied "anyway, there may be a way to locate Zoe through her Dino Holder, provided those that have captured her haven't taken it from her. And I think it would be best if we didn't tell Reese either."

"Tell me what?" replied someone in an emotionless monotone. The boys saw an older woman with a lab coat and green shirt walk into the lab. That was Reese Drake, Dr. Taylor's assistant and Zoe's older sister.

"Tell you that…it's Chomp's birthday!" Dr. Taylor said hastily.

"Oh, I wasn't aware dinosaurs celebrated birthdays" Reese replied "and, since Chomp's a dinosaur, his age would be in the millions."

"True, but we treat him like a dog, so actually, it would be his age in dog years" Dr. Taylor explained.

"Oh, okay" Reese said, still confused "anyway, have either of you two seen Zoe? I know she went out with you, but she's not here."

"Umm…." Both boys started.

"Say Reese, hypothetical question" Dr. Taylor interrupted them "how would you feel if Zoe was lost and possibly kidnapped?"

"I'd be crushed" Reese replied "Zoe is my only sister, and the news that something has happened to her would put me into an emotional coma. Why do you ask?"

"Oh you know me, always like to find out people's answers to completely fake and not true situations" Dr. Taylor explained.

"Whatever" Reese replied "I have to go finish carbon dating some fossils. If Zoe shows up, will you let me know?"

"Can do, you just go and finish all your work now" Dr. Taylor said.

"Yeah, don't worry about anything" Max added.

"Everything is totally fine" Rex chimed in.

After Reese left, all three breathed a sigh of relief. "Well that was close" Dr. Taylor said.

"Yeah, I'm sure your fake question really threw her off the trail" Rex replied sarcastically.

"Never mind that now, we need to start tracing that Dino Holder signal" Dr. Taylor replied.

He used Max's Dino Holder to find the signal, but nothing came up.

"Well, wherever she is, she isn't near her Dino Holder" Dr. Taylor said "if only we had some clue as to where she was."

"Oh, by the way doctor, this videotape came a few minutes ago" Reese interrupted, coming back into the room holding a video in her hands.

"Oh goody, maybe it's my new 'Dinosaurs Gone Wild' tape!" he said happily dancing around, before noticing the kids looking at him strangely.

"It's not what it sounds like" he explained "you see, dinosaurs are naturally wild creatures, and this tape simply captures that."

"That's exactly what I thought" Max said.

"Me too" replied Rex "we were just creeped out by your goofy dancing."

"Oh, sorry boys, but dinosaurs get me a little excited" Dr. Taylor explained "and Max, not a word about this tape to your mother."

"Okay dad."

"Well, I have to leave for no particular reason" Reese said "have fun watching your tape."

After she left, Dr. Taylor popped the tape into a slot on the computer. A large acne-ridden kid appeared on the screen.

"Hey, this isn't dinosaurs, what a rip!" the doc complained.

"Is this thing on?" CF asked.

"Yeah, I think so" Tolinator's voice came from behind the camera.

"All right then" CF began "attention dino kids. If you are watching this, then that means our delivery was successful. Just a little humor there; anyway we have a little friend of yours here that's hoping you'll come and play."

He stepped aside to reveal Zoe, bound to a chair and gagged, and struggling against her restraints.

"Zoe!" both boys exclaimed.

"If you want to see your badly dressed and extremely annoying friend again, then we want your dinosaurs. Or the secret to how you control the dinosaurs, or both, since having the dinos would be stupid if we couldn't control them" CF replied.

"Anyway, meet us at the old manga publishing house in a half hour and we'll make the swap" CF continued "and no tricks, or pinky here ends up as dino chow."

After finishing, he stood there proudly "well, I think that turned out nicely" he said "those little brats are probably worried sick by now."

Unaware the camera was still going, he began to pick his nose. "Man, I've been hoping to do this all day" he said, "I've got a really big one in here."

As he dug around looking for nose gold, he eventually spied the camera and saw the red light was still on.

"What! Did you forget to turn off the camera?" he asked Tolinator.

"I forget how."

"Oh for the love of Pete!" CF said, walking over to the camera, so his entire body filled the screen.

"Is it this button?" Tolinator asked.

"No, press the red one, the red…" CF said before the screen went blank.

"Okay, that was pretty disturbing" Max commented.

"Yeah, but what are we going to do about Zoe?" Rex asked "we can't give our dinosaurs to those creeps."

"I have it!" Dr. Taylor exclaimed "we'll build some fake dinosaurs out of paper mache and give them to the kidnappers. They'll be so lifelike those guys won't know the difference."

"Yeah, no offense dad, but I think we're going to go another way" Max replied.

"If you say so" Dr. Taylor replied "let me know if you need a ride."

"Isn't it strange that there's another group out there, besides the Alpha Gang after our dinosaurs?" Rex asked, "I mean, how did they even hear about them?"

"Well, it's not like we do such a good job of covering up thier existence" Max replied.

* * *

Control Freak: Have you figured out what anime series _Dinosaur King _resembles yet? Let's look at what we know so far.

Motor Ed: First off, the lead kid has a totally lame sounding voice.

CF: And, their group is made up of three, consisting of two boys and a girl. Interesting…

Ed: Not to mention, they get help from a scientist dude, who's totally flipped, seriously.

CF: Congrats to anyone who figured it out, although it's not that hard. You could be as dumb as Tolinator and still get it.

Ed: You know my favorite anime? _Bobobo._ That dude has hair that puts mine to shame, seriously.

CF: Actually, a lot of anime characters have weird hair. They must buy mousse by the truckload or something.

Ed: Or maybe they use special mousse. Man, I'd like to get my hands on some of that, seriously. Anyway, in our next chapter, we make the exchange with the brats, when a trio of clowns show up, and I don't mean the circus kind.

CF: So don't forget to Read and Review.


	4. An Alpha showdown

Soon the deadline neared and the D-Team headed towards the aforementioned drop-off point.

"Are you sure this will work?" Rex asked Max.

"I hope so, for Zoe's sake" Max replied.

"I still think we should've gone with my fake dinosaur plan" Dr. Taylor replied from the driver's seat of the car.

"You just wanted an excuse to build dinosaur models" Max replied.

"Oh, it's true!" Dr. Taylor said "being an archeologist means you can't build little models anymore!"

"Um, don't you assemble dinosaur skeletons?" Rex asked.

"It's not the same."

Soon the car arrived at the parking lot of the old factory. "Why do you suppose they wanted us to make the exchange here?" Max asked.

"A creepy old place in the middle of nowhere, it's the perfect spot" Rex said "it guarantees that there are no witnesses if they decide to double-cross you."

"Well let's hope our plan works before it comes to that" Max replied.

The kids & Dr. Taylor got out, and after a few seconds, a van pulled up.

The doors opened, and out from the van piled the BB members, with Beekeeper holding a bound & gagged Zoe.

"OK kids, you know the deal, the dinos for the dame" CF explained "um, what's with the old guy?"

"He's my dad, so he had to drive us" Max explained.

"Plus, I'm kind of their mentor" Dr. Taylor said proudly "and I'm not that old, for your information!"

Upon hearing that, Tolinator produced his list and wrote

**2. Kids have crazy old scientist who helps them. **

"Hey, what's the weird toilet guy writing down?" Dr. Taylor asked.

"I've been wondering that all day" CF said "but it's of no importance, now hand over the dinos."

"Give us Zoe first!" Max told him.

"How dumb do you think we are?"

"Very, but you're not getting the dinos 'till we get Zoe" Max explained.

"And how can we bee sure you can bee trusted?" Beekeeper asked, as Zoe struggled against him.

"Duh, we're the good guys, we always keep our word" Max replied.

"No dice" CF hand over the dinos or the girl dies!"

Seeing no choice, Max & Rex urged Ace, Chomp & Paris to head over towards the villains.

"They're pretty cute for machines of destruction" Tolinator said, petting Chomp, who promptly bit him on the finger "Oww!"

"So, how do we make these dinos large and make them do our bidding?" CF asked.

"Easy" Max said, as he and Rex reached for their Dino Holders.

Before they could use them, however, the Box Ghost phased up behind them, grabbed the devices and phased back through the ground.

"What the?" Max exclaimed.

Box Ghost then came up from the ground where the villains were, made himself corporeal and handed the Holders to CF.

"Did you kids really think you could outsmart us?" he asked "we knew you'd try to pull something, and we developed a clever counter-plan."

"Technically, it was my idea" Beekeeper reminded him.

"Whatever, now that we've got these, we have no more need for your annoying little pal" CF said to Max "or you two and the professor."

"Guys, can someone get this thing off me?" Tolinator asked, with Chomp still biting his hand.

"Maybe this thing will let me control it" CF suggested, as he fiddled with the Dino Holder.

The kids tried to rush forward to stop him, but found themselves staring down the barrels of Black Cuervo's laser and Beekeeper's Honey Blaster.

"Sorry losers, but we win this one" Black Cuervo told them.

"Hold on right there, you thieves!" came a female's voice from nearby.

Everyone turned to where it had come from to see the source. It belonged to a middle-aged woman in a red bodysuit with a diamond shape cut over the navel, pink fingerless gloves and high heels and a purple cape shaped like a "V." She had green hair in a ponytail and a cowlick standing up in front.

Next to her were a tall man in a grey jacket, pants, and shoes with a red shirt, wearing sunglasses and with blue hair in a cowlick.

Between them was a fat man in a dark gray shirt with a red symbol on it, tan pants, brown boots, black suspenders, and pink gloves. He had blue spiky hair and a red nose.

"Oh no, not you three losers again" Rex said.

"We're kind of in the middle of something here old lady, so why don't you take a hike?" Max suggested.

"I keep telling you, I'm not old!" Ursula shouted "sometimes I think you brats just keep saying that to annoy me!"

"Who are the Cirque de Soilel rejects?" CF asked.

"Are you saying you've never heard of the world famous Alpha Gang?" Ursula replied "we're notorious dinosaur thieves, and if anyone is going to get those brats' dinos, it's going to be us."

"Look losers, we were here first, so this is our caper" CF replied "and no odd costumed wannabes are going to stop us."

"You're calling us odd?" Ursula asked "did you guys just come from a Halloween party?"

Meanwhile, Tolinator had gotten Box Ghost to extract Chomp from his hand.

"Bite away foolish reptile" Box Ghost said, after Chomp attempted to bite his arm "but your teeth cannot penetrate the non-existent skin of the Box Ghost!"

Realizing he was right, Chomp slipped out of the ghost's grasp and ran back towards Max. Meanwhile, Tolinator took this time to add a few more things to his list;

**3. Kids have extremely stupid arch-enemies. **

**4. Said enemies have demeaning term they use for kids. **

"Hey, what'cha doing?" Ed asked Tolinator, as he and Zander peeked over his shoulder.

"Oh, I noticed that this whole situation reminded me of a show I'd seen before, but I can't place it" Tolinator said "so I've been keeping this list of similarities to the show."

"I think he's on to something" Ed told Zander "this does remind me of a show I've seen."

"Me too" Zander added "but I can't put my finger on the name."

"What are you two doing?!" Ursula shouted "don't help them, they're the enemy!"

"Sorry!" both men replied, as they rushed back to her side.

"We'll see who gets the dinosaurs now. Alpha slash! Blaze, Tyrannosaurus."

"Gush out, Spinosaurus!" Zander added.

Instantly, a large red T-Rex (who they called Terry) and a purple Spinosaurus (named Spiny) appeared.

"Okay Terry & Spiny, eat those brats and these other wannabes" Ursula added.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat, or dinosaur cage, in this case" Tolinator said.

"Shoot that thing!" CF ordered, with Black Cuervo and Beekeeper turning their weapons on Terry.

Since Beekeeper was distracted, Zoe took the opportunity to run over to her friends, who quickly freed her.

"I'm so glad to see you guys" she said, hugging them both "I was afraid those badly dressed bad guys were going to kill me."

"You wanna get a little payback?" Max added.

"Oh yeah."

"Now Chomp!" Max ordered, and the little triceratops ran over to Control Freak and bit his hand, causing him to drop one of the Dino Holders, which Chomp then retrieved for his master.

"The kid got back his thing" CF said "stop him!"

"How do you expect us to fight a T-Rex and get the kids?" Black Cuervo asked.

"Listen, we'll protect you from the dinosaurs if you give us back our Dino Holders" Max said.

"And apologize for kidnapping me" Zoe added.

"No deal" CF said "we can handle this thing by ourselves."

Instantly, Terry's tail smashed into him, BC and Beekeeper, launching them into the outer wall of the factory.

"Here you go" Tolinator said handing back the two remaining holders, which had fallen out of CF's coat after he was whapped "now save us please!"

------------------------------------

Ursula: Hi, I know this is usually where the other guys talk, but we've been given this segment for a very important message.

Zander: A lot of people seem to think we're incompetent and stupid and we're here to tell you it isn't true.

Ursula: That's right. People distort the truth about our skills because they're jealous of us and how good we really are.

Zander: So don't believe the hype, we're not as dumb as everyone makes us out to be. So we have never been trampled, set on fire, fallen down from massive heights, blown up, or any sort of other painful situation.

Ursula: Okay Ed, you want to tell them what's up next?

Ed: Sure thing. In this final chapter we fight the kids and get our butts handed to us like we always do. I don't know why we can't win.

Ursula: Nice work Ed, you completely ruined everything!

Zander: Now people will still think we're losers!

Ed: But we are.

Ursula: I know, but we don't want them to know that! Ugh, I really need to find another job.

Zander & Ed: Read & Review!

Ed: Or Dr. Z will beat us.


	5. Dino Duel

"Let's do it guys! Dino Slash! Go triceratops, roar!"

"Go carnataurus, blow them away!"

"Spring up, parasaurolophus!"

The three dinosaurs grew to full size and engaged in battle with Terry, while Tolinator took the time to record another observance.

**5. Kids have battle cry for unleashing creatures. **

"We'd better try to end this quick" Rex said, and brought forth a card from his holder "Ninja!"

When the move card was activated, Ace split into several copies, each one of which ran at Terry at lightning speed.

"Do something Ursula, use one of our move cards!" Ed suggested.

"Don't tell me what to do, I'm in charge" Ursula growled "and I'll use a move card. Okay Terry, Volcano Burst!"

The T-Rex then spewed a wave of fire at the three dinos, causing injury to Ace.

Meanwhile, Chomp was doing relatively well against Spiny, until the dinosaur whapped him with his tail. Terry then left his battle with Ace and joined his fellow dinosaur in attacking Chomp.

"Chomp, no!" Max shouted, like he does almost every episode.

"Hang on Max, I've got you covered" Zoe said, bringing out her own move card "Metal Wing!"

"Oh man, I hate it when she uses that one" Zander commented.

Instantly, a swarm of pteranadons came from nowhere and dive bombed Spiny, reducing him back to card form.

"Lightning Spear!" Max commanded, with Chomp firing a blast at the T-Rex that knocked him a few feet. Meanwhile, Ace had recovered sufficiently to use Cyclone, which did further damage to the big lizard.

"OK, now that he's weak it's time to finish this!" Max said, "Lightning, Strike!"

Summoning up a huge mass of electricity, Chomp fired a lightning blast from his horns that reduced Terry back into his card form again. After witnessing the attack, Tolinator quickly pulled out his list and added the following;

**6. Lead kid's creature uses electric attacks.**

After he finished, CF, Beekeeper and BC approached him.

"Let's go while the kids are distracted" CF suggested, and they, along with Box Ghost, headed to the van.

Meanwhile, Ursula headed over to where Terry's card had fallen, while the other two retrieved Spiny.

"You brats think that will stop the Alpha Gang?" Ursula asked, after she picked up the card "well you're wrong!"

"Um actually, they have three fully charged dinosaurs while we have two weakened ones" Zander reminded her, after he and Ed made their way over.

"Not to mention that those costumed guys might still be around here, looking for vengeance" Ed added.

"Oh all right, let's get out of here" Ursula said, then turned to the kids "you haven't seen the last of us!"

"Whatever, old lady" Zoe said.

"I keep telling you, I'm not old!" Ursula shouted, as Zander & Ed dragged her off.

"Well we beat the Alpha Gang again and rescued Zoe, all in all, a good day" Max said.

"Yeah, but about those creeps that kidnapped me?" Zoe asked "we're not just going to let them go, are we?"

"Don't worry, I'll call the proper authorities and have them taken to jail" Dr. Taylor said, "um, but where are they?"

"Oh man, they must have escaped during the big battle!" Max complained.

"Oh well, at least they'll think twice before messing with us again" Rex said.

"And I've learned my lesson too" Zoe said "I will never again put a new friend before my old ones. Unless they really, really get on my nerves."

"That's all we ask" Max replied.

-------

A few hours later, the D-Team put the whole situation out of their minds.

The villains, meanwhile, had arrived back at their HQ.

"Okay, if Hannibal asks, it turns out the dinosaurs were actually animatronics" CF explained "and at no time did we get knocked into a factory wall by a dinosaur tail."

"Right" Beekeeper & Black Cuervo agreed in unison.

"We may not have gotten any dinosaurs, but on the plus side, I remembered what show this caper reminded me of. _My Name is Earl,_ man I love that program, especially Randy."

"Get him" CF added, with the other members pouncing on Tolinator and beating him senseless.

"What'd I say?"

Next Time:

Hoping to revenge himself on the Teen Titans for ruining one of his earlier plans, Hannibal recruits Batman villain Lock-Up in a plan to capture them. Meanwhile, the Titans are planning a vacation, which is cut short when they receive a distress call from member Argent. Soon, however, they end up captured and ready to be sold to the highest bidder. Can they escape and stop their foes? Find out in the next story "Recapture the Titans."


End file.
